Thursday, January 6, 2011

Cultural Infidel…aka Knocking on Heaven’s Door…aka Mad Man Martz and the Birds Falling From The Sky

[Training Camp 2010: Heading to the light]

 [2012 Lurks]

[Last minutes of Earth]

[“I will sweep away both man and beast; I will sweep away the birds in the sky and the fish in the sea— and the idols that cause the wicked to stumble.” “When I destroy all mankind on the face of the earth,” declares the LORD,]

I like to talk to homeless people.  As matter of the best advice I’ve ever gotten, was when I asked a broken down fellow traveler if he slept on the box he was sitting on outside of a bar on Music Row in Nashville, TN.  He told me with great certain and Zen like wisdom that, “cardboard sure beats sleeping on the Earth.”  Truer words have never been spoken, and you never hear that kind of candor from any presidential candidates in an era of foreclosure and property loss.

As 2012 approaches the end of man lingers a questionable finale for us all; so naturally I want my Chicago Bears to pull off a miracle and win the Super Bowl before it’s too late.  It’s true, as I sat in training camp I didn’t feel to positive about this team.  As a matter of fact I figured my odds of winning the lotto or dying in a grease fire were far more substantial than the 2011 Bear even making the Playoffs.

Being from Chicago we have certain bravado that is both charming and annoying to outsiders.  When I saw a kid in abusive Packers colors stumbling through a cave in Kentucky I threatened to call DCFS on the child’s parents immediately for putting the kid in such offensive wear and daftly yet with absolute authority informed the dim witted hillbilly (all Packer fans are a variation of) parents that their team has no chance of winning the division.  I didn’t fully believe what I was saying, but after being a Bears fan most of my life I’m used to being wrong, plus living in one of the most politically corrupt cities in the world I’ve become adapt to advanced political delivery of less then truthful speech.  

A lot of people didn’t want Mike Martz to come to Chicago and truthfully neither did the Bears.  He was the last name on their very long list, and when nobody wanted the job, he was given it reluctantly.  To be honest I was pumped as I know he’s a real coach with a real system.   I didn’t think we could pull it off, and to be honest we haven’t, but he’s made adjustments and we somehow managed to field an offense and win a game despite no offensive line.   Thank you Mike Tice for giving a miracle drug to a terminal unit giving them a few more weeks of comfortable living to somehow stun the experts and sorta play football.  Sure they are still terrible, and terminal, but you can’t argue with the results.

The real hero here is another head coach turned kitchen cabinet kingpin named Rod Marinelli who’s taken over the defense, and turned them back into the Monsters of the Midway we’ve always known they were, and are.  This leaves us with only one lonely yet lovely man who happens to be the head coach, Lovie Smith.  Everybody in Chicago wanted the dull ho-hum coach to be fired and escorted out of town by a hungry mob of chub-a-bulls with pitch forks.  He sucks and still does.  But he’s winning, and he’s letting his staff do their job.  If he is a leader and a man who can stand at the helm while real coaches coach I have no problem with him being our figure head even though I still say they fire him right after we win the Super Bowl this year, just for the sake of great television. 


--2,000 red-winged blackbirds fell dead from the sky in a central Arkansas.
-- Then, around 300 more birds quit living and fell from sky in Louisiana, with more reported dead in Kentucky.  Its not just here in the one nation under God but also similar reports are surfacing out of Sweden and New Zealand.
--Plus this… "An estimated 2 million fish have been reported dead from the Bay Bridge south to Tangier Sound, according to the Maryland Department of the Environment, which investigates fish kills. The dead fish are primarily adult spot, with some juvenile croakers ... Large winter kills of spot have been documented at least twice before, the MDE spokeswoman said, with about 15 million dying in early 1976 and a smaller number in 1980."  -- The Baltimore Sun  (Print isn’t dead just a lot of fish)
--Add that, to this… 40,000 Crabs Wash Ashore in Kent… 100 Tons of Fish Dead in Brazil….and we’re talking about some weird shit happening in the lords year of 2011.

Anybody want to go to church with me this Sunday (Bears have a bye week and maybe we can score a few points with the man upstairs.)

If 2011 is the end at least we all made it. Living is mostly waiting time anyhow and whatever lays ahead may sure be better then sleeping on the earth. 

AFL 2011

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